SHA2017 - proudly sponsored by E Corp!

April 1st 2017
ThumbnailDear all, As yesterday was the first of April, this newspost was a hoax. SHA2017 will not be sponsored by E corp. However, it will be a great non-profit event and is organized for and by volunteers from and around all facets of the international hacker community. We hope you enjoyed our April fool's joke!
BIG NEWS: We've just received a €500.000 euro sponsorship from E Corp. This is a wonderful opportunity for our event and the community. Additionally they're buying 2500 tickets, and they will be visiting with their entire team of 2500 consultants. Only 1000 tickets left!
Furthermore, the sponsorship brings some unique possibilities to life, and you can read more about this below.
The content team gladly announces having reserved prime time slots for E Corps excellent lineup of speakers. You can expect:
  •     How licensing is better than buying (by E. Musk)
  •     Our new holodevice, five things that you did not expect (by A. Smith)
  •     Cost effectiveness, a priority in hacking (by T. Colby)
  •     The gig economy lets you live inifinitely (by M. Kaufman)
  •     Defending our nation with your tech (by S. Walker)

Thanks to E Corp, the SHA Orga can now do the things we've always wanted:

  •  The badge team will update their badge to make it ready for the future. Check the badge team on twitter:
  •  The NOC will strip TLS certificates, so you don't have to! They will also do traffic and backscatter analysis
  •  The sysadmins have begun transferring all data to the new E Corp cloud: insuring your data now has a 5 star platinum security status
  •  The sanitary team mandates that all rolls of toilet paper will be facing outward
  •  The safety team will remove the camera's in the toilets and showers
  •  The deco team will hire decorations from Trump rallies exclusively and will refuse anything artisan
  •  The entrance team will use a full body scanner, just because it's cool!
  •  The IFCAT board will be strengthened by an additional board member from E Corp with an unspecified background in government
  •  The radio team will only broadcast music by EMI and Time Warner, no voice!
  •  The conduct team will rewrite the CoC based on 1950's stereotypes
  •  The bar team will not sell beer
  •  The design will be incorporating the E Corp logo everywhere
  •  The foodcourt will only sell poorly manufactured meat surrogates and nothing else
  •  The info team will read out the Windows EULA and ask you to agree before answering questions
  •  The logistics team will rent 500 manitu's and parade with them in circles all day
  •  The lounge will constantly play very loud German speedcore, in both lounges
  •  The ROC team will hire megaphones instead of portophones
  •  The power team will provide electricity generated by burning live hamsters on site, so kawaii!
  •  The alternative power network will provide 1.2 jigawatts of power, also by burning hamsters
  •  The finance team will only accept payments via PayPal
  •  The volunteers team will ask you to wear a device on your head which is going to control you
  •  The family village will hire Pennywise The Dancing Clown to entertain the children
  •  The buildup and teardown team will use ancient Egyptian powers, unicorn breath and alien magic to get things done
  •  The village team will add seven layers of management and bureaucracy to streamline the process
  •  The wiki and website will be migrated to Microsoft SharePoint Technology
  •  The POC will support CT2 exclusivly, allowing for 8 people to talk simultaneously over handsets
  •  The harbour will become a space port exclusively for attack cruizers

A word from our sponsor: Fun facts you did not know about E Corp! :)

  •  E Corp is a fair and balanced partner for both stable and unstable regions!
  •  E Corp's social media network just partnered with redtube and other major social networks.
  •  E Corp invests heavily in advanced defensive technology and can use your help!
  •  E Corp fundamentally believes in convenience, our mission is to never let you worry again!

Visit the E Corp booth at SHA2017! Our booth babes will serve you the best tsjunk all day!

Tha SHA organization wishes to thank E Corp for their amazing and flexible sponsoring. All of our challenges have been met over night. Thank you E Corp!

SHA2017: powered by E Corp! Buy your tickets now

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